The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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