at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
