i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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