id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
