he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
