U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize