P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
