it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
