did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
