dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
