I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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