Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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