I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
