I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
