I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
