they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
