He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I intend to get homeless drunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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