The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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