To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
