i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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