What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
