he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I smell stomach acid.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
