So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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