Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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