Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Randomize
