Can Purell be used as lube?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
