ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
