he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize