Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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