I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize