No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
