so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
