I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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