maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
is that a dick in a sweater?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
