hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
