I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
