People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
