I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
