can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize