Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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