If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I want is dick and wine.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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