in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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