that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
