So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
