I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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