Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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