I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
