I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
