C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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