I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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