It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
