OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize