I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
