Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
