Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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