My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
