Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
only if we run a train.
done.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
