To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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