Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
