i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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