dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
