Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
