I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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