so that wasnt chicken after all
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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