I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
