she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
