the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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