he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
