Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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(716): View more from New York

how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?

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(816): View more from Missouri

My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.

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(331): View more from Illinois

My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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(954): View more from Florida

Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!

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(904): View more from Florida

Do dollar stores sell vibrators?

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