I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
