Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
