So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
