My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
