I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
