So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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