I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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