No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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