at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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