So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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